A Gas Crater, Desert, Ruins, and Probably the World’s Strangest Country

‘Where?!?’ ‘You mean Turkey?’ ‘Is that even a real country?’ These questions are, well, not entirely unjustified. Turkmenistan is one of the world’s least visited countries, being number 7 on that list. To put that in perspective, North Korea and Afghanistan both get more tourists.

Above: A park in Ashagabat, with the world’s largest indoor ferris wheel in the background.

Several times throughout my trip in Turkmenistan I had to ask myself the latter question, because at times I wasn’t sure. For those of you who don’t know much about Turkmenistan (well, who does?), this should get you up to speed. The country borders Russia, Iran, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan and the Caspian Sea, and is made up of several tribes who previously roamed the Karakum Desert. While the Silk road was still a major trade route, several of its cities were some of the most important in the world, such as Kunye Urgench and Merv. Passed between several khanates, invaded by Mongols, and conquered by Tamarland, it was finally captured by Russia. Now, it has an eccentric dictator Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow – don’t worry, only Turkmens can pronounce it. He rose to power after being the personal dentist of his predecessor Niyazov, an equally eccentric man who loved his mother so much that he renamed bread and April after her. Yup, that’s right, Google it. And that’s probably the most important thing for you to understand about Turkmenistan – logic isn’t always obvious!

My first experience of Turkmenistan was being stuck out at sea, which somewhat marred my initial impressions of the place. (Read about my experience here.) After that, I will admit I was probably still tinged with cabin fever and exhaustion, and couldn’t fully appreciate the strangeness that is Ashgabat.


Ashgabat is apparently the city of love. One look at the place, not knowing anything about it, and you wonder if they named it ironically. These days, it should be named ‘White Marble City,’ since every building is made of marble – or white plastic when they ran out of money. Several times, myself and fellow travellers have struggled to describe it, because it’s so unique in such an eerie and bizarre way that it’s hard to convey just what it is like to someone who hasn’t visited.

The best I could come up with is that it reminded me of the Truman Show. Everything looks the same. The super market looks the same as a public toilet building; everything is white, and might have gold painted eaves for decoration at most. There are perfectly manicured parks, statues and monuments every few blocks, and wide (but empty) roads. And the weirdest thing is that there are no people. No one walked the streets. The only people outside were the gardeners and street cleaners, and the military guards posted at statues and monuments. It just doesn’t feel like a real city.

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We visited the market in Ashgabat, and actually discovered some people. This used to be the local livestock market, but now has been rebuilt into a massive complex of aircraft hangars filled with stalls. There was everything from fruit, rugs and camels, to generic plastic junk from China. It was impressive in its size, but it is no longer the traditional-style market it had been just a few years earlier. Looking back, although it was the first fat-bottomed sheep I got to see, I think it was possibly more amazing we found some local Turkmen people not behind white marbled doors!

We were given a quick bus tour of the city, and shown most of Ashgabat’s main buildings. We weren’t allowed to stop at those buildings, only take photos from inside the bus. The sites we could get out at was a statue No. 34 of current Mr Unpronounceable, and the that mosque Niyazov the Bread Renamer built in his own honour.

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This mosque is unique. It is the world’s only mosque which has non-Arabic script used for decoration. Our guide was quite proud to point out that this inflamed several ‘more conservative clerics,’ and I would have to admit it did sound like a brave and perhaps more modern thing to do. However, former President Niyazov has actually covered the mosque with quotes, not from the Quran, but from his own book. Both inside at out, nationalistic phrases about Turkmenistan and its former leader replace those that might otherwise have been about Allah. I don’t think it was the language that offended.

Turkmenistan essentially has one east to west road that stretches across the country. This has been very poorly maintained – but don’t worry, they’re building a brand new one right next to it. Of course, in Turkmen style, instead of doing the logical thing of working at this project in continuous sections, bit by bit, they’ve got brand new road dotted throughout the country. There would be about 5 km of new road, and then it would abruptly stop (which we knew, because they’d put a mound of dirt there), then it would be back to the old road for about twenty more kilometres, before coming across another 5km of new road. We’d have to drive off the road, through dust and ditches, to switch lanes all the time.

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One hilarious point had two bridges. The old one was broken, and our guide proudly proclaimed the newer more modern one ‘a beautiful Turkmen bridge.’ Only problem was, the road (well both of them) led to the old one, and no one had thought to solve that problem. So we had a bridge, but no road. The truck clambered off the road, down the ditch, and lined up to what was essentially some sort of Moto GP or dirt biking ramp. Some serious driving skills were needed, and if we didn’t already know it from the occasional deep pot-holes, vehicle suspension was now appreciated even more.

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The definite highlight of the country is the Darvaza (also Darwaza) gas crater. The crater is in the middle of the desert, and we got to camp near by. In the 40s, the Russians were building a gas pipeline, and accidentally hit a seam of gas while building it. Thinking it would burn out in about 2 days, they decided to throw a match in, and then continue building when it had burns itself out. Instead, it’s still burning about 70 years on, and it’s a fearsome sight. It’s best appreciated at night, when the flames stand out more. You feel the heat before you see anything, and the closer you get the size of it impresses more.

While writing about this Silk Road trip, I find myself constantly using the phrase ‘it wasn’t what I expected.’ So, I’ll use it here again. The kamakazi locusts were not what I expected. At times, they made appreciating the impressive flames of the crater hard to enjoy, because there were thousands of the things flying everywhere, crawling over our feet, landing on shoulders, and flying straight into the crater. It was such a bizarre thing to see! These locusts would fly towards the light, get caught in the hot air above, and most would drop dead before they even realised they were in danger. Some managed to turn around and land near the edge of the crater – before realising they couldn’t climb out. Very few seemed to survive at all. I wondered what effects this phenomenon had on the local ecosystem, and if this was some freak occurrence that day or a year round event.

Our last stop before heading into Uzbekistan was Kunye Urgench. This city used to be in Kwarezm, a khanate that included parts of modern day Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan. Due to the surrounding deserts and more hostile climates, it was an important stop along the Silk Road, which is how it acquired its wealth. The city rivalled Bukhara in its heyday, but was devastated in the 13th century when the Mongols came through and massacred many living there. The city rebuilt, but when Timur captured it, they rebelled several times against the Uzbek conquerer. This resulted it the city being raized, leaving the few remnants at the site today. The buildings have not had much attention to them paid, and were one of the best examples I saw of original, untouched and unrestored history. It gave me an appreciation of how much work must go into restoration, and what an important thing it is to look after sites such as these.

Sadly, I didn’t get to see much of Kunye Urgench, because I managed to get heat stroke (and throw up in a rose bush near the entrance). I did get to see the first building, which was one of the few with art still remaining on its walls. Regardless, it’s inspired me to look into the history of Kwarezm to find out more about what I missed seeing.

Turkmenistan is not my favourite country. I will admit that I didn’t enjoy it as much as most other tavellers in our group, who had a slightly more relaxing week. (Due to the 5 days at sea, the long drive into Ashgabat to catch up to schedule, being quite tired from our 2.30am arrival and not having a lot of energy to site-see Ashgabat, summer temperatures of 40 degrees and above – I did of course choose to come here in summer, my fault there! – some bumpy roads which I  blamed for my nausea, managing to give myself heatstroke  – turns out the roads weren’t actually that bad! – and finally, being too sick to appreciate Kunye Urgench.) But, it was certainly an eye opener! And that’s why I chose to travel the Silk Road, to learn from the countries I had no clue about. The country’s oddities have stuck with me, and I find myself talking about this place more than any other country I visited. Turkmenistan seems to have an entirely different way of doing things, from roads to politics, and I could never believe a place like it existed unless I’d visited.

So no, it’s not Turkey. And yes, somehow, it is a real place.

I travelled with Dragoman, one of the few companies who take travellers through the 7th least visited nation in the world. You can visit Turkmenistan on the Tbilisi-Ashgabat legs, or the Ashgabat-Tashkent leg. Due to current issues with visas, it’s best to travel on a tour such as this, as it is the easiest way to get a visa there nowadays!

More Than Just Eurovision 

I’ll admit it: the main reason I wanted to go Azerbaijan was to see Baku, the place I never knew existed until I watched Eurovision. Azerbaijan was mostly one of those countries I knew would enter a ballad with a singer using a wind machine, maybe a comical grandma act with some traditional dancing thrown in, but I certainly couldn’t have placed it on a map. When I saw it was part of some of the Silk Road routes, I couldn’t resist. Secretly, every time I read the name on the trip itinerary, a Eurovision presenter was announcing Azerbaijan’s vote in my head.

I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know if it would be like Georgia, or have more Islamic influence like its neighbours Iran and Turkmenistan. I knew that Baku had a stadium with flashing lights, maps told me the country bordered the Caspian Sea, and a few weeks earlier I’d seen carvings of the Azeris paying tribute to ancient Persia in Persepolis. That was it.

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We drove out of the Georgian forest and onto the border. After a short interrogation about where and why I’d been in Armenia, we were let into the country,and on our way to our first caravanserai. Sheki was once the seat of a Khan, and has a small but beautifully decorated palace. Iran had taught me that the kinds of art here are typical of 18-20th century, and I couldn’t help but notice the similarities and difference between the neighbouring countries. The lead-light windows on the first floor made absolute gorgeous patterns of light inside the palace.

It was here that we came across the first of many of the Azeri ‘flames,’ the national symbol. The paisley pattern that was so typical of 70s shirts is actually based on these, and is named after one of the main towns to produce these textile designs in Scotland. Who knew? There’s a slight dispute over whether or not the boteh (also buta) was Persian or Azeri first, but that hasn’t stopped the Azeri’s from making it their own. They are in the art everywhere, and have inspired Baku’s flame towers. Interestingly, though the country was once Zoroastrian, it was never really confirmed or denied that the flame might symbolise that religion. Perhaps they prefer to think of it as tradition rather than a link to their pre-Islamic past, or perhaps the significance of fire in their lives was one reason Zoroastrianism was easily adopted at the time. It was surprisingly difficult to find an answer, and I left the country still wondering.


In Sheki we actually stayed overnight in the caravanserai (see above), which has been converted into a hotel. Where once this place housed traders and their camels, it now houses travellers of a different kind. The hotel had a beautiful courtyard, with stone archways leading off into the rooms. It was a very quiet little town, and most shops were closed by the time we got there. Interestingly, there seemed to be a lot of dentists given the town’s size. Perhaps it was explained by the numbers of traditional sweet shops. The Baklava and Azeri deserts were absolutely delicious! Incredibly sweet, often very sticky with honey or sugar syrup, and you could pretend they were healthy because most had fruits or nuts in them.

Our next stop was up in the mountains, to a village famed for its copper work. It’s somewhat of a tourist destination for locals, but still quiet enough to have horses and cars drive down the same cobble-stone street. Hand carved copper goods lined most shop windows, with a few being open workshops.


By far the most memorable experience about Lahic was actually getting there, not so much the village itself. The drive up was rocky, along sheer drops down into the valley. Our truck Archie meandered up, rocking and bouncing past the incredible scenery. The rock formations here ranged from vertical spikes poking through trees to tree-covered slopes. On the return journey, I got my first taste of Archie’s roof seats. Sitting on top of the truck, we could appreciate the 360 view and enjoy the wind on our faces. Locals stopped to wave and check out the unusual sight. It’s experiences like these that make over landing so special – you can’t get that on an average tour bus or taxi!

Not long after getting down the windy gravel mountain path, the road straightened out into desert. Where we’d been a little cold and wet the evening before, we suddenly hit temperature of over 35 degrees, and no shade in sight but our truck. It was on this day that we had the great little stop at the mud volcanoes. These were wonderfully gooey little mounds with bubbling grey sludge spluttering out of the small craters and holes in the earth. The mud oozed slowly down the sides, and started drying quickly in the midday sun. The bubbling happens due to the amount of gas and shallow deposits of shale near the surface. Some dared to put the arms inside a few of the holes, in order to try to get a free beauty treatment – and even if it didn’t work, and it was a wonderfully messy bit of joy for the afternoon.


That was the first glimpse we had of the country’s oil. The site actually has an oil plant nearby, and we drove past pools of oil, black and shiny, right there at ground surface level. This was where the money was. Azerbaijan was producing more than half the world’s oil in 1901, and you can see why. It wouldn’t have been that difficult to find it! Oil has been abundant at the surface since before Marco Polo’s travels. Strangely, Lahic was only a day’s drive away, as if in a different world. Where Lahic and Sheki were the kind of Silk Road towns I’d expected, this part of the country was empty save for a rich city in the desert.

Nothing summed that up more than the mosque just outside of Baku, overlooking the oil rig once used in James Bond. The mosque was beautiful, but it was something I now recognised as modern Islamic architecture, and probably not unique to Azerbaijan. As we were there during Ramadan, the call to prayer played around us, a nice kind of background for our first up close glimpses of the city. The high way traffic drove past, and the oil rig and port carried on. You could literally smell the petrol in the air, something that we later discovered was common throughout Baku in certain weather. A modern city, religion, and oil. That’s Baku in a nutshell.

We came into Baku a few days after the Formula One, and the track, barriers and stands were all still set up. We had great fun driving along the track, especially since our truck Archie stood out against the regular traffic, even if it meant it took us a little longer to get to the old town. I’m not into car racing, but I can say I’ve driven on an official track! Our circuit run took us past all sorts of designer shops, and the wealth of the place really hit home.


Above: Baku’s  streets, and the Maiden Tower (end)

The city has done a lot to restore and preserve a lot of its medieval history. The old city wall fences in a lot of it, while just outside it are the designer shops, the corniche popular for night strolls, and plazas with KFC and McDonald’s. One of the oldest sites is the Maiden Tower, built and restored over several centuries, which historians are still unsure of it’s use. Legend says that the king’s daughter was to be married off to a man she didn’t love, so she asked that he first build a tower in her honour. When the tower was completed, she jumped off it’s top to her death. Historians also believe it was earlier used as an observatory, and probably a Zoroastrian temple. Nearby are a few caravanserais, one of the cities oldest mosques, and several restaurants and bars to enjoy. We spent a day walking around the city, with a great audio guide. You can pick these audio guides up at several booths, and most sites have corresponding track numbers on their signs. It was very comprehensive, detailing medieval, Soviet and recent history and culture, and gave us a few ideas of which museums to go check out the next day as well. They even included the house of a famous local jazz musician!

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Above: miniature book collection, with some of the world’s smallest books, less than 1cm2 are on display here. They had Shakespeare, Quran’s, Bibles, Tolstoy, fairy tales and everything in between. 

The most iconic site in Baku is probably the Flame Towers. These stand out in the city’s landscape, being a lot higher than other buildings. By day, they’re interesting, something a little bit different architecturally. By night, they are lit up with different projections. There were three while we were there: red flames, a man waving the Azeri flag, and something to do golf – we guessed there’d just been a golf tournament, or one coming soon, though we saw no other signs of it. Along the coast, as you walk along the corniche, several of the other buildings are lit up nicely, making a picturesque cityscape and pleasant stroll.


And that was when I saw it. Crystal Hall, the Eurovision stadium. It was far off in the distance, on the other side of the bay, but it did not disappoint. And as the sparkling lights twinkled in and out (a lighting effect I think they used back then as well), the big fat smile on my face told me I’d made a good decision coming here.

I travelled with Dragoman, who specialise in over landing journeys. Destinations like Lahic and the mud volcanoes are not on the typical tourist trail, which is what makes their trips so special! This was part of the Tbilisi-Ashgabat section.

Wine is Culture

First thoughts on Georgia: the roads are better, the driving worse. I’d chosen to go for a shared taxi, known as marshrutka, to get from the Armenian capital of Yerevan up to Tbilisi in one afternoon, rather than the more expensive and lengthier train. What I didn’t realise, is that although the scenery through the window is much the same, the train driver isn’t trying to give Tokyo Drift a run for its money on hairpin bends. The noticeable difference between the unmaintained Armenian roads and the far smoother ones immediately across the border was, at first, appreciated. I thought perhaps our Georgian driver was in fact just a little crazy, probably not representative. But within 48 hours I’d learnt that it’s just the way the country drives.

Frighteningly, several of the taxis had cracked windscreens and paint scratches of varying degrees. It got to the point where it was almost entertaining to compare the speed at which they cut in front of other drivers to the severity of the car damage – almost. One taxi I walked past even looked like the windscreen had been shot at! I couldn’t quite understand why no one seemed to fix these kinds of scrapes, but looking back, it was probably more of an attitude of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” The kind of laissez-faire outlook that made the country such a wonderful place to visit.


Above: Tbilisi’s old town

Georgia is a very relaxed place. Everyone is so busy being hospitable, talking laughing and eating their way through life, that it seems impossible that there’s ever a need to be rushed in this country. The Armenians often said that their northern neighbours are the only ones they could joke with (since they have such bad relations with Azerbaijan and Turkey, and though on cordial terms with their southern neighbours, the Revolution in Iran made things a little more difficult for the Christian Armenians still living there). It’s easy to see why they never lost their friendship with Georgia!

We did of course, do the obligatory wine tasting day. When you visit the nation famed for being the first to have made wine in the world, you can’t neglect to! And though other in the group had already had their first taste (literally) of Georgian hospitality, and knew what they were in for, I was yet to be included in that club. We weren’t given sips or two of each wine to taste, at the second winery we were given glasses. And then we went to the next winery – and were treated to a huge feast with several jugs of wine. Considering we’d had our first drop at about 10 or 11 am, we’d been pacing ourselves a little.


And then a friend of our local guide turned up, incidentally accompanied by a significant Georgian archaeologist on his way to check out a site nearby. So despite being on the point of food comas, more food was brought for the table, more jugs appeared, and then the dangerous old chacha came out. Chacha is a spirit made from the skin of grapes, and it is certainly strong! It’s generally considered more potent than vodka, and though my other friends wisely refused after learning from experience, I decided it would be best to try the local brew while I had the chance. Thankfully I didn’t take the full shot, considering the wine already tolling on me! It certainly has a bite to it. We started our tour at about 9.30 in the morning, we made it back to our home stays sometime after 4pm, and were then expected to sit down to a dinner none of us needed soon after, or risk insulting our hosts. There was of course wine that appeared on the dinner table – and for the first time none of us touched it, despite it probably being the only alcoholic drink on our trip that didn’t cost extra. Yes, that’s right, nothing extra. At any big meal, it’s just expected that there will be jugs of wine! And they are often jugs, not bottles. So it was entirely normal for our hosts to automatically bring them out without asking. Even restaurants in Tbilisi often had three options for wine: glass, bottle,or jug. That’s how ingrained their wine culture of over 6000 years is.

Toastmaster is a significant role here. It’s someone, often a host, at a party in charge of making all the toasts, and seeing to it that enough alcohol is consumed – a dangerous business! And no toastmaster would be fit for the role without a traditional Georgian drinking horn. They’ve even got a statue dedicated to the Toastmaster in Tbilisi!

Above: Toastmaster statue, with his drinking horn

Georgia’s capital of Tbilisi is nestled on the the banks on either side of the Kura River, with steep hills and narrow winding lanes containing the south-eastern section of the city. Tbilisi is a great mix of everything: medieval and modern, traditional and soviet, and Christian, Jewish and Muslim communities that have lived here for centuries together. Overlooking the city from the ridge above, the Narikala fort includes a church, the botanic gardens a little further around the valley, while the other end of the wall now hosts the statue of the Mother of Georgia. The statue symbolises Georgian hospitality with her food bowl and the national pride with her sword. Then there’s the statue of St George in the typically Soviet Freedom Square. Churches, historical figures, modern architects, mosques, synagogues, hamams…I learnt so much about the history of Georgia in just two short days of wandering around and looking at architecture, without having read much about the place.

Walking around the city was definitely more challenging than it sounded. In high summer, Tbilisi can get quite humid, and going up and down the steep hills proved to be better exercise than any aerobics class. What should have been a five minute stroll from my hostel on one side of the river to the next place I was staying on the other, took me almost 20 with my backpack. There are plenty of quiet backstreets to discover, with some really nice eating areas of the city as well. In one such place, there were even a few live jazz bands playing! On a Sunday, I stumbled across a church service which has spilled out onto any available space around it. Obviously this church was more popular than the others I’d already walked past, but it was a nice thing to see. Most of the people outside couldn’t hear what was going on inside, yet they still hung round all the same, chatting with other families instead.


The other surprise I had while in Tbilisi was the dumplings! A friend and I saw dumplings on the menu and were a little surprised, having had no idea that dumplings were eaten outside of Asia. What came out were not the kinds of dumplings we’ been expecting at all! They were huge, about the size of my hand. Certainly not chopstick size, and not really fork size either! After eating a few, we were told by a couple at the table next to us that you actually ate them with your hand, by turning the dumpling upside down, and using the top of the dumpling as a kind of handle. It felt so strange! Turns out I’d be seeing dumplings all along the Silk Road for the next two and half months, of all shapes and sizes, with all sorts of sauces and fillings.

The Soviet influence on Georgia is still in some of its architecture, but if you go looking for it, there’s a little more to see and learn. Georgia also hosts Goris, the birthplace of Stalin, though he doesn’t seem to be entirely popular with the locals. One of the more interesting places we visited was the Soviet car museum. This is a tiny place, down a dirt track, and you’d have to know about it to find it. Not being a car person myself, I didn’t appreciate it quite as much as some, but it was definitely interesting to see the array of cars, and learn about which types cars were used by the police, diplomats, leaders, or locals. I also loved the bullet proof car – with a gunshot in its windscreen. Those who work there have spent a lot of time and money restoring these old cars to pristine condition, which you can see them doing in the workshops just next to the display room. It was a quick glimpse into daily life during Soviet times, as seen from a mechanics workshop.

Our final stop in Georgia was the Lagodekhi National Park area, where we camped for the night. Not far from both the Russian and Azeri borders, these woods were a nice changed rom everything else I’d seen so far on my travels. Most other scenery I’d seen had been deserts, mountains, open fields, and cities. It felt like we were getting into out into nature, and I’d been looking forward to my first night of camping. After stetting up camp, I snuck off to play saxophone for a while a little. The sound carried beautifully, and I could hear it ringing out through the trees. I enjoyed it so much that I just stopped playing, sat down on my saxophone case, and watched the insects and birds flit around, before standing again to play.

I travelled to Georgia to start my Silk Road trip with Dragoman, who specialise in overland journeys. Local home stays and camping took us off the beaten track, and certainly made the trip more memorable!